Ozzie Ausband

the thing we are looking for

Jay Adams- La Costa 1976

We start out unknowing. Our eyes are wide open and sparkling. Filled with all that is new and unexplainable. A slave to each new taste and sensation. We revel in life… The dark of the world is held at bay by the light of our youth. Neon night and sun-splashed afternoons. The curl of a glassy wave, white pool plaster spangled with shadows, the smell of the good smoke rising up, young girls with copper skin, night fires with pretty faces, pleasure that never seems to end. Years prowl by, friends are gone and we shake our heads in wonder. “Where the hell did they get to? What happened to me…?!” Most of what we had in store for ourselves didn’t come to fruition. The lonely parade. The nights are still golden but tinged with tiredness and regret. The pretty faces are older and haggard. We look at ourselves in the mirror – only briefly– and say, “I’m getting too old for this.” We find justification. We reinvent the language of our youth. Excuses. Platitudes. This thing we are looking for… It is a ghost. Absence. One day we awaken. We see a trampled path. The sun is a cold orb that cannot bring us happiness. The beaches and surf are dull, crowded and flat. The pretty faces of our youth became wrinkled and repellent. We find that we have the emotions of a reptile. “How did it become so damned dark?” The thing we are looking for… Gratitude is the answer.

Thanks to the Bolster archive for the image. Skate and be grateful.- Ozzie