Ozzie Ausband

her

Kim Cespedes

It’s raining softly on the city. I hear it steadily drumming on the roof & it’s an ancient song; sung in a language forgotten when Rome was young. I know it in my bones. I walked early today. Shadow & silver light crawled over the hillsides as morning came to me. I turned my eyes & squinted. The mountains east of me were snow-capped. Old boulders–their faces cracked & split– lay in heaps by the roadside. The air was cold & very little noise came to me.  Silence can be a loud sound. I walked through the roads kicking my heels. I thought of her then.  She is terrifyingly perfect. Seeing her makes me want to be a better person. I smiled to myself. Pushing my hands deeper into my pockets, I pictured her in my mind. Her hair was silk… golden & perfect. I longed to bury my face in it & sleep.  Approaching a culvert, I stopped. The concrete railing was festooned with ivy. It draped & hung in a mass of green & gold. A shallow rivulet of water meandered under the bridge & continued into the distance. The sun began to warm my back. Small shy creatures were stirring in the morning & scurried away at my intrusion.  Never had humanity seemed so far away.  I was tranquil but knew it couldn’t last. The moment was too perfect.  She came to my mind again. I wondered if she ever caught me staring as I tried to memorize her face? What must she think? My old insecurities rise up & threaten to undo me. At my worst comes my best.  I spot a large bird winging across a row of houses in the distance. I wish I were it. I see a house by itself in a stand of trees. Shaded. Protected. “Privacy.” It says. I notice a soft yellow light from within. I wonder of the story of those inside. Every light is a heartbeat. A car is heard approaching behind me on the road. It soon blows past & silence falls again. In the distance I see black wires against the marble sky. The city shimmers beneath it. The city & its endless possibilities call to me. Pleasure, fun, hubris, dreams. Yet, without her… it’s just a city.  Thanks to Jim Goodrich for the images. Skate- Ozzie