Ozzie Ausband

isolation

Alan Gelfand- 'In the darkness' at 'Solid Surf' 1979 I read quite a bit. I love reading about human behaviors. I try to fathom what makes people do the things they do. Why do some cross the lines of socially accepted behavior & others plod along through life, content to be mundane & law-abiding? Being isolative, I read & ponder. I was thumbing through some French poetry recently. I love reading poetry. It can be full of visual imagery & the best use of words. I came across the following passage in a work by the great French poet 'Charles Baudelaire'. It is entitled. 'One O'clock in the morning.' 'At last I am alone. I hear no longer the noise of the belated & weary vehicles. For some hours we shall possess silence, if not repose. At last! The tyranny of the human face has disappeared; I suffer only from my own loneliness. At last! I can relax in a bath of shadows. First, a double turn of the key in the lock. It seems to me that this turn of the key will intensify my solitude & strengthen the barriers that separate me from the world.' Charles Baudelaire wrote of the ravaged human experience & the constant problems he faced when dealing with his fellow man. I heard that ".... 95% of the human race is ignorant, petty & savage. The other 5% of us are at serious risk for contagion." Funny. All I know is this. For all of the times I am happy & upbeat, life--equally-- knocks the shit out of me & I find myself on my knees. Alone, wounded & frightened of what other humans are capable of. I like the dark. I like my books. Words are power. I understand what Charles Baudelaire was getting at. I know. I have felt the same way on more than one occasion. Once again, 'life wouldn't be bad, if it wasn't for the people.' Thanks to Jim Goodrich for the Alan Gelfand image. Skate & go read a book. -Ozzie